Monday, 06 July 2015 18:25

2011-7. Alex 16-18 & Pics

alex

In 1974, when I had just started working at Saint Francis Hospital in San Francisco, my younger brother, David, came to live with me. He was 16 at the time and I was 24. At the time he arrived, I was living in a ten dollar a week room over The Rainbow Cattle Company on the corner of Valencia and Duboce (That story can be found here: Rainbow Cattle Company). Dad had left David’s mother, Irene, and had remarried Deanna, who would eventually murder him. Dad had apparently thrown Donna, David and Hebert out of the house when he married Deanna. Their Mother, Irene, had moved to Sunnyside, Washington.

 

David and I got an apartment on Larkin street shortly after he arrived and he lived with me until he turned eighteen. I had just finished the Psychiatric Technician program and was familiar with behavioral contracts and wrote out a contract with David specifying that he was expected to work and go to school. 

 

In the eighties, for some reason that I will have to try to remember some time, Darlene’s son, Chris Tasker came to live with Milton and I. He was sixteen when he arrived and was 18 when he left. I also used a written behavioral contract with Chris. (The story about Waller Street can be found here: 465 Waller Street)

 

By 2011, Milton and I had been living in Vallejo for quite a while and my Nissan was on it’s last legs. Milton thought I should just donate it for a tax write off but I thought the car had some useful life in it still and so offered to give it to Misty’s son, Sean, if they would come down and pick it up. Milton was worried that it would not make it up to Washington but it did and lasted Sean another year or so after that and helped him get moved out of Yakima, over to Everett. 

 

Misty decided to bring Sean’s younger brother, Alex, down to pick up the Nissan. I really didn’t know any of Misty’s kids very well. Little kids are just not very interesting to me. Wynter was the oldest and I had seen her a couple times when she was an adolescent. She had come down to Vallejo with Darlene and her brother Sean and her cousin, C.J., and a girlfriend of hers. Sean was the youngest on that trip and I don’t remember much about him from that time. I had also visited with Wynter on one of the get together’s in Spokane. When Misty brought Alex down to pick up the Nissan, he was sixteen and would turn 17 in a few months. 

 

Darlene had spoke of her grandson, Alex, at various times as he was growing up. For the two years prior to his coming down with Misty, Darlene and Misty had called me multiple times about Alex. He had various somatic complaints and the doctors in Yakima seemed baffled. He had not been to school for two years because of various symptoms. Misty took him to Seattle and multiple tests were done and the doctors were unable to find a physiological basis for Alex's symptoms

 

Misty and Alex stayed for a couple of days in May with us when they came down to pick up my old Nissan which I was giving to Sean. I took them on a tour of San Francisco. The Story, pics and video of Misty and Alex’s visit in May of 2011 can be found here: 2011- May- Misty and Alex Visit

 

Within a couple months of Misty and Alex picking up the Nissan, I was talking to Darlene and asked about Alex and how he was doing. Darlene told me that he had asked her if she thought Milton and I would let him come and live with us. I was kind of surprised by this but did discuss it with Milton. As I mentioned previously, I had already parented David from 16 to 18, and then Milton and I had parented Chris from 16 to 18, and now here was another 16 year old that was having problems. When David had lived with me, he was less than 10 years younger than me so we had quite a bit in common and I had known him all his life. When Chris had come to live with Milton and I, I had also known Chris all of his life. Alex seemed so much younger than David and Chris had been. I had only spent a few hours with Alex in his entire life up until then. I really didn’t know him much at all. 

 

Milton and I discussed whether we were ready to deal with another teenager in our lives. We had both liked Alex and both felt he was in some deep trouble, although we were still not sure exactly what that trouble was. I had spent part of my life in Yakima Valley and knew how awful it had been for me. There were really no opportunities there for growth and development and people were very narrow minded. There was a lot of alcoholism and drug abuse as well. It was around this same time that there were news accounts of a rash of young kids in the United States committing suicide. I had just made my own, “It Get’s Better” video which was part of an anti-suicide campaign, telling kids that life does get better if they can get past childhood and their teen years.

 

As I said, Milton and I really didn't know Alex very well and he did not know us, so we decided that he could come down for a trial visit for a couple of weeks to decide if he wanted to live with Milton and I in Vallejo and to see if Milton and I could actually tolerate someone staying with us again. During that visit, we discussed what some of the rules would be if he were to want to live with us. Like David and Chris before him, I wrote up a "contract" that specified our expectations (a pdf of that original contract can be found here). We tried to make it as clear as possible to Alex that we had expectations for his stay with us and that he was not coming to make new friends, for a vacation or just to play and have fun. We recognized that his life was out of control and he needed limits, boundaries, rules, supervision and goals. Although Alex never did follow the contract to the letter, it was a good starting point to make expectations clear.  

 

Alex flew down in August of 2011. We got him enrolled in an online school for homeschooling and bought him some new clothes and shoes. I bought him a gray fedora that he seemed to love and everyone loved it on him.

 

1alexguitar

2alexguitar3alexguitar4alexguitar

 

Alex1stday6flagsAs we approached his 18th birthday, we got him a drivers license and studied for the High School Equivalency test which he did pass. I helped him write a resume and he got his first job at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom and then a second job at a local bowling alley. Since Milton and I paid for everything and he had no expenses, Alex was able to save up a good chunk of money from these jobs and we began looking for a rental in San Francisco.

 

We found a place on 25th Avenue in The City for $750 that Alex liked. It had two rooms, a microwave and small refrigerator. He signed the lease five days before his 18th birthday. Within a week or so he had a job in San Francisco and shortly thereafter, he was enrolled at City College of San Francisco. He had come an incredible distance from when he had first arrived. 

 

These are some pics and video from the period that Alex lived with us in Vallejo. 

 

The story, pics and video of the vacation we took Alex on to L.A. and then the Mexican Riviera cruise on the Carnival Splendor can be found at this link: 2012- March- Carnival Splendor Mexican Riviera with Family

 

Always interested in images, whether they are oil paintings, silk screens, videos or photography, I created two sets of "Alex photos." The first, I called "Alex in Black and White."  The other, I called "Alex in Color." Then I also made a short video including both and called it "Alex in Black and White and Color." I used a song he liked for a soundtrack. 

 

 

 

Alex in Black and White:

 

BWAlex2bwalex3bwalex4BWalex5bwalex6bwalex7bwalex8bwalex9bwalex10bwAlexbw1

 

Alex in Color:

 

akexcolor2alex9alex10alex12alex13alex15alex17alexcoloralexcolor5alexcolor16alexcolr3alexcolr4

Miscellaneous pics:

 

alexandjakeonridealexfeathers2alexjakedrenchedalexjakeleslielexiesylvanalex 

 

 

Published in Sixties

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2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Where I was born- Click for story.
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
Palouse- Click for story
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
Amber- Click to read story.
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
Earthquake! Click to read story.
Women in Oils- Click for story
Grandview- Click for story
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
Click to read "Introduction."
Me in first grade- Click for story.

Article

01. Introduction

03- Dads Family

03- Photos of my Father and his family

04- My Mother's Family

04- Photos of my Mom

04- Video of my Mom

04- Walling Family Reunions

04-Audio Files of My Mom

04. Billie

04. Ole

04.1. Forbidden Dreams of Love

04.2. Flames of Forbidden Love

04.3 Mom Writing Her Life Story

05- Jim Tarbert

05. Roger

1950's Grandview to Toppenish

1957-1958 1st Grade

1958-1959- Third Grade

1959- Palouse

1961- 4th Grade- Last time I wore a dress

1962- Abilene

1963- Escondido- Early 60's

1964- Darlene Marries Chuck

1964- My Beatle Haircut

1964-The Luv Please

1965 or 1966- Steve Castle

1965- In Foster Care

1966 Living with Darlene & Chuck in Seattle

1967- Juvenile Hall

1976- I Praise Thee (poem to Stanley)

1976- My Second Lover, Stanley Dunne

1976- Paul McCartney and Wings

1976-1330 Bush Street #9J

1977- 1667 Haight Street

1977- Trip to San Diego with Mary Jo

1977-1980- Tumultuous Relationship with John Perry

1978- 525 Haight Street

1979- September- Dad is Murdered

1980's- AIDS- Death and Dying

1980- Winter- First Trip to New York

1980- Word, Sound and Power

1981- Milton- Falling in Love

1982-1993 465 Waller Street

1982-1994 Computers to MacNursing

1984- 33rd Birthday

1985- Graduation from Nursing School

1985- Trip to Hawaii (Oahu)

1988- MIdnight Caller

1989- Earthquake!

1991- Aug 10th- Mom Passes Away

1991- Black Males in Oils

1991- Crack of My Life

1993- Move to Vallejo & Our First Home

1995-1. Road Trip to Washington

1995-2. Surprise Trip to Vegas

1995-3. Grandmother Rogers & Aunts Visit Darlene's

1995-4. Amber

1998- Camping at Russian River

2000 -Thoughts about Progressive Christians

2000- Resignation from John George

2001- April- Trip to Cancun

2001- Peace and Justice

2001- September 11th

2002- April-Puerto Vallarta & Blue Bay Getaway

2002- Nov 12th- My Stepfather, George McHenry Passes Away

2003- Trip to D.C. and N.Y.

2004- Feb- Road Trip to Baha Mexico

2004- Walling Family Reunion in Spokane

2005- Christmas Poem

2005- Darlene Visit for Pride Celebration

2005- Trip to Orlando

2005-1. Europe- London

2005-2. Europe- Paris

2005-3. Europe- Venice

2005-4. Europe- Florence

2005-5. Europe- Rome

2005-6. Europe- Athens

2005-7. Knee Surgery & Tongue Biopsy

2006 Christmas Poem

2006- February 23- Times Herald

2006- Palm Springs White Party

2006- Trip to Seattle

2006-July 8th Solano Peace and Justice Coalition BBQ

2007- Feb- Carnival Destiny- Our First Cruise

2007- Tre and Casey Visit

2008- Aug 15-18 Spokane Visit

2008- Psycho Song

2009- Honored by Vallejo Gay Network

2009- Women in Oils

2010 Christmas Poem

2010- Feb. R.C. Mariner of the Seas Mexican Riviera Cruise

2010- June 24- Badlands

2010- Trip to Seattle

2010-1. Europe- Amsterdam

2010-2. Europe- Paris

2010-3. Europe- Barcelona & Sitges

2010-4. Europe- Madrid

2011-1. Feb. My Fabulous 60th Birthday Weekend

2011-2. April- L.A., Palm Springs & "The White Party"

2011-3. Poem- Girl From Medical Lake

2011-4. Old Man Dancing

2011-5. May- Misty and Alex Visit

2011-6. August- Darlene and Sean's Visit

2011-7. Alex 16-18 & Pics

2012- March- Carnival Splendor Mexican Riviera with Family

2013- Wedding

2014- Christmas Poem

2014- First Gay Cruise

2014- September Road Trip to San Diego

2015- Seasonal Affective Blues

2015- Second Gay Cruise

2015- War on Christmas poem

2015-"Badlands" and Gay Bar Etiquette

2015-September 8. Political History

2016 Do Not Speak for Gay Males

2016- April- Palm Springs RV Adventure

4/4/2016- Not Going Along to Get Along

9/4/15- Liberals vs Conservatives

1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Women in Oils- Click for story
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
Me in first grade- Click for story.
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
Where I was born- Click for story.
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
Earthquake! Click to read story.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
Grandview- Click for story
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
Palouse- Click for story
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
Amber- Click to read story.
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
Click to read "Introduction."