Wednesday, 18 March 2015 04:01

1976- My Second Lover, Stanley Dunne

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I met Stanley at gay night at the roller skating rink in San Mateo, a few miles south of San Francisco. I was going there regularly for a while with friends and it was great fun skating around the rink to disco music.Stanley came up and asked me to skate with him during a "couples only" segment. 

430BakerstreetI had actually seen Stanley before on muni in San Francisco and he had made a face at me and I thought he was being antagonistic or that he might be crazy but when I got to know him, I think that the face he had made was just typical Stanley, trying to be cute. I just had to get to know him a little before I got that. Once I fell, I fell head over heels. I just thought he was the cutest thing. 

At first we dated for a week or a few weeks. I thought I was in love and it wasn't long before I was planning to give up my high rise studio apartment on Bush Street to move in with him in his cockroach infested apartment on Baker Street. 

Stanley worked at Clown Alley in the financial district of San Francisco and got off late in the evening and would often bring me a burger and shake from there. Back then, Clown Alley truly had the best burgers and best Tuna sandwiches in all of San Francisco. Stanley would come home, excited when celebrities like Diana Ross would stop in there for food when they were in San Francisco. Clown Alley was a San Francisco institution for as long as I could remember but finally met it's demise.clown02

Stanley's real dream at the time was to be a cosmetologist. He had a passion for "doing hair." That meant that he wanted to cut hair and because of his passion for it, I let him cut mine once but it turned out terrible and I never let him cut it again. Other's came to the house to have their hair "processed." Chemicals are applied to black hair to straighten it and then it is styled. I think this was also the era of "geri-curls" which was "relaxed" black hair with an oily substance applied to give it a wet look.

At first I thought we might be monogamous but that didn't last very long. This was still pre-Aids and most gay men I knew did not require monogamy in a relationship. We were sexual young gay men and we understood the needs of sexual young gay men. We understood the difference between meaningless "recreational" sex and meaningful relationship sex.

No, it was not the lack of monogamy that ended my relationship with Stanley. I just don't think he was ready for a "live-in" lover. Although we remained close friends until he died, I never saw him with another live-in lover after me. 

There may have been a fight somewhere along the way that I don't remember the details of now but it does seem to me that I moved out quickly. Regardless, Stanley was a dear friend. He had his struggles through the years after we broke up. He got pretty strung out at one point on some kind of amphetamines, although I am not exactly sure if amphetamines in the seventies were exactly the same as those in the sixties that I had come into contact with and discarded as something I wasn't interested in, or if they were exactly the same as the "methamphetamines" I read about so much in the news today? Maybe it has always been the same. 

Stanley was into all the black disco diva's of the time and had all their albums. Diana, Pointer Sisters, Patti Labelle, Donna Summer, Thelma Houston, and Gloria Gaynor to name a few. We both loved to dance and the I-Beam was the hot place to go about that time. Up until this time, I had probably bought mostly rock albums. I wasn't even aware of some of the diva's that Stanley would turn me onto. He was all about disco diva's and I learned to love them too.  Stanley Dunn2

Regardless, there came a time that Stanley was calling me frantically to come over as he was being watched. I went and he was a mess. The apartment had dirty clothes everywhere and he insisted that someone was watching him from another building. He pulled the closed curtains back a little and insisted that if I looked, I would see them, but there was no one there. 

Although Stanley was fairly articulate with a Brooklyn accent, he was functionally illiterate. At one point after we broke up, I bought some learning aids for phonetics and worked with him. He had been a victim of "sight reading" that was taught in some schools rather than phonetics. I have never known anyone that was taught "sight reading" that could actually read. Everyone I have ever known that learned phonetics, were good readers and could sound out words they didn't know. Sight reading was a disasterous mistake in the educational system. Stanley did improve his reading by leaps and bounds after he learned some basic phonetic principles. 

JPEG 0480Milton and Stanley during Stanley's last visit to Bay AreaEven though Stanley had some drug problems at one point, he always seemed to endure... until he was diagnosed with AIDS. At that time in the course of the AIDS crises, few endured. He gave up his  apartment in San Francisco and went back to Brooklyn to live with his mother. He did come back out to San Francisco for Gay Pride once after that and seemed to be happy in New York. He and Milton had met previously. In fact, Stanley was the one that helped Milton get his job at the Holiday Inn on Van Ness in San Francisco. He had worked at the front desk and let Milton know when there was an opening in the housekeeping department. On that last visit, he showed us a video of himself in drag as Stanlietta. I had never known him to do drag before that. 

After Stanley returned to Brooklyn, after his visit to San Francisco, I would never hear from him again. My assumption is that passed away at some point. I called the number that I had at the time but it was disconnected or nobody answered. 

 

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Article

01. Introduction

03- Dads Family

03- Photos of my Father and his family

04- My Mother's Family

04- Photos of my Mom

04- Video of my Mom

04- Walling Family Reunions

04-Audio Files of My Mom

04. Billie

04. Ole

04.1. Forbidden Dreams of Love

04.2. Flames of Forbidden Love

04.3 Mom Writing Her Life Story

05- Jim Tarbert

05. Roger

1950's Grandview to Toppenish

1957-1958 1st Grade

1958-1959- Third Grade

1959- Palouse

1961- 4th Grade- Last time I wore a dress

1962- Abilene

1963- Escondido- Early 60's

1964- Darlene Marries Chuck

1964- My Beatle Haircut

1964-The Luv Please

1965 or 1966- Steve Castle

1965- In Foster Care

1966 Living with Darlene & Chuck in Seattle

1967- Juvenile Hall

1976- I Praise Thee (poem to Stanley)

1976- My Second Lover, Stanley Dunne

1976- Paul McCartney and Wings

1976-1330 Bush Street #9J

1977- 1667 Haight Street

1977- Trip to San Diego with Mary Jo

1977-1980- Tumultuous Relationship with John Perry

1978- 525 Haight Street

1979- September- Dad is Murdered

1980's- AIDS- Death and Dying

1980- Winter- First Trip to New York

1980- Word, Sound and Power

1981- Milton- Falling in Love

1982-1993 465 Waller Street

1982-1994 Computers to MacNursing

1984- 33rd Birthday

1985- Graduation from Nursing School

1985- Trip to Hawaii (Oahu)

1988- MIdnight Caller

1989- Earthquake!

1991- Aug 10th- Mom Passes Away

1991- Black Males in Oils

1991- Crack of My Life

1993- Move to Vallejo & Our First Home

1995-1. Road Trip to Washington

1995-2. Surprise Trip to Vegas

1995-3. Grandmother Rogers & Aunts Visit Darlene's

1995-4. Amber

1998- Camping at Russian River

2000 -Thoughts about Progressive Christians

2000- Resignation from John George

2001- April- Trip to Cancun

2001- Peace and Justice

2001- September 11th

2002- April-Puerto Vallarta & Blue Bay Getaway

2002- Nov 12th- My Stepfather, George McHenry Passes Away

2003- Trip to D.C. and N.Y.

2004- Feb- Road Trip to Baha Mexico

2004- Walling Family Reunion in Spokane

2005- Christmas Poem

2005- Darlene Visit for Pride Celebration

2005- Trip to Orlando

2005-1. Europe- London

2005-2. Europe- Paris

2005-3. Europe- Venice

2005-4. Europe- Florence

2005-5. Europe- Rome

2005-6. Europe- Athens

2005-7. Knee Surgery & Tongue Biopsy

2006 Christmas Poem

2006- February 23- Times Herald

2006- Palm Springs White Party

2006- Trip to Seattle

2006-July 8th Solano Peace and Justice Coalition BBQ

2007- Feb- Carnival Destiny- Our First Cruise

2007- Tre and Casey Visit

2008- Aug 15-18 Spokane Visit

2008- Psycho Song

2009- Honored by Vallejo Gay Network

2009- Women in Oils

2010 Christmas Poem

2010- Feb. R.C. Mariner of the Seas Mexican Riviera Cruise

2010- June 24- Badlands

2010- Trip to Seattle

2010-1. Europe- Amsterdam

2010-2. Europe- Paris

2010-3. Europe- Barcelona & Sitges

2010-4. Europe- Madrid

2011-1. Feb. My Fabulous 60th Birthday Weekend

2011-2. April- L.A., Palm Springs & "The White Party"

2011-3. Poem- Girl From Medical Lake

2011-4. Old Man Dancing

2011-5. May- Misty and Alex Visit

2011-6. August- Darlene and Sean's Visit

2011-7. Alex 16-18 & Pics

2012- March- Carnival Splendor Mexican Riviera with Family

2013- Wedding

2014- Christmas Poem

2014- First Gay Cruise

2014- September Road Trip to San Diego

2015- Seasonal Affective Blues

2015- Second Gay Cruise

2015- War on Christmas poem

2015-"Badlands" and Gay Bar Etiquette

2015-September 8. Political History

2016 Do Not Speak for Gay Males

2016- April- Palm Springs RV Adventure

4/4/2016- Not Going Along to Get Along

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Earthquake! Click to read story.
Where I was born- Click for story.
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
Grandview- Click for story
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
Me in first grade- Click for story.
1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
Amber- Click to read story.
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
Click to read "Introduction."
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Palouse- Click for story
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Women in Oils- Click for story
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.