Tuesday, 21 April 2015 17:28

1965- In Foster Care

Rate this item
(0 votes)

Mom and George had moved to Georgia because George had gotten a better job there and again, our needs as children were most likely never considered for a Moment. As always, we were just expected to adapt to anything and anywhere at any time. Our stability or education or relationships were inconsequential. George was the breadwinner and it didn't matter if he could get a job anywhere. He was an aeronautics engineer and could have gotten a job anywhere and made good money but with George, and probably even more so with my Mom, it was always about going where he could make the most money. It was not just Roger and I that got a raw deal on that. George had five daughters too and they never came first either. It was always the work. Nowadays, it seems amazing to me how parents are so careful to take into consideration the needs of their children and even turn down jobs if it means disrupting the lives of their children.

Ole and Gail had been living in Escondido but at some point, they had gone back to Spokane. Roger and I must have got shipped off to Toppenish to live with my dad for a while. I guess the adults probably thought they would give that a try but I hated school in Toppenish. Roger had come with me and we both wanted to go back to Southern California. Somehow, I think we convinced dad to give us some money and Roger and I went back to Escondido and got our own apartment. Roger was 16 and I think I had probably turned fourteen by this time. Essentially, we were on our own.

I am pretty sure we got back to Escondido in Roger's yellow 57 Chevy that had taken a beating over the time he had it and somehow we got an apartment. How does a fourteen year old and a sixteen year old get an apartment without anyone asking questions? I don't know for sure since I don't remember that but I know we got one and lived on our own and I even got back into school in Poway. Roger would either take me there or a couple of times I even hitchhiked. Mark Heideman, Roger and I continued The Luv Please. Our friends in San Diego, Leslie and Marnie, who we had met playing at a car show in San Diego, used to bring us food they would steal from their parents houses. We were actually surviving but it didnt' take long before I had stopped going to school. My girlfriend's mother called the child protective services and a social worker showed up at our apartment. Against our will, Roger and I were put into a foster home in the town of San Marcos. 

The foster home was pretty horrible for me. The family were Mormon and I remember the mother being the type that seemed to be seeking some celebrity in her life or something. I can't remember what it was she did as far as art or performance though. I do know she made a point of talking about all the children that she had fostered and how they all would come back and see her and loved her and were so thankful for her.

I think the son resented our being there. He was about the same age as me if I remember correctly. The daughter was about Roger's age. Instead of buying regular milk, only powdered milk was bought and I hated that. The mother also didn't allow anyone to drink fluids with the meals. You were only allowed to have something to drink after you were done eating. 

By this time, Roger and I had become friendly with Leslie and Marnie in San Diego through playing at the car show there. They had visited us in our apartment and had brought us food there. I stayed in telephone contact with them and they came to visit us in the foster home. I thought Leslie was going to help me run away and I had even gotten into the trunk of the car but she betrayed me and told them where I was. 

Roger and I enrolled in school where the foster family lived. I attended classes and remember feeling completely lost. What the other kids were learning and discussing was all Greek to me. It didn't really matter because we were not there for very long. 

For some reason, on one day, I got into an argument with the daughter of the foster parents and called her a "bitch." Within a few hours, the social worker was at the house and driving me to a "receiving home" in Hillcrest San Diego. Apparently they had decided that I was incorigable. Because Roger was 16, he was allowed to go live with our previous neighbors by the barn house on Summit Avenue. 

At the receiving home, I had a room mate who was a couple of years younger than myself, who had some awful lung disease. He was wheezing constantly and coughing up a lot of phlegm. I don't think it was anything as simple as asthma even. This boy was really very sick in a chronic way. I got along okay at the receiving home though. After a week or so, my Mom flew out from Georgia to spring me from the home and I think she sent me up to Washington. 

I think that was probably the year that I meant Dan, a Yakima Indian that would continue to be my good friend for the next few years. I had been allowed to enroll in Toppenish High and Dan attended there as well. I still had my hair and it had gotten a little longer but I don't think it was as long as Dan's at the time. His wasn't long because of the Beatles, His was long because of his embracing his heritage as a Yakima. He was one of thirteen kids that his mother was raising in the absents of a father for the most part. I think his father may have been a farm laborer. 

I also think I met Virgil that year. He was a pretty scary guy and the first time I met him, he was threatening to beat me up. Many of the girls at Toppenish High, including his girlfriend at the time, Dianna, liked my Beatle haircut and would innocently flirt with me. He took it much to seriously and I thought he was surely going to kill me and I don't think I got any sleep that night. I think my dad tried to give me a crash course in boxing but I knew that was a lost cause. Dianna must have talked to him that evening and convinced him that her flirtations were only innocent because when I saw him the next day, instead of him wanting to kill me, he wanted to be my friend. He remained a friend and a protector for some years after that, and as much of a thug as he was, totally accepted it when I came out to him and told him I was gay. 

It was amazing how several of these people in Toppenish back then, in the late sixties and early seventies accepted my sexuality. Henry was Mexican and another "thug" like Virgil. He was a dangerous guy that liked to drink and fight and womanize with my brother and Virgil but also liked to hang around Rogers' band. By this time, I had lost interest in playing drums as practice sessions were always pretty awful. Roger was a perfectionist and I just wanted to have fun. Henry was another protector. If anyone made threats toward me or Roger, they would have to deal with Henry and Virgil first. I had a crush on Henry for several years and I am sure that he knew it but was always straight and macho. 

It wasn't long until baseball season at Toppenish High and there was no way that I was ever going to catch or hit a baseball and I could only tolerate the humiliation for a short while. I offered to continue going to school if I could be excused from physical education but that was out of the question so I just quit going to school. I got to know the truant officer at the time very well. He would come to the house and have coffee and cigarettes with me in the afternoon and try to convince me I should be in back in school One day, my dad saw me walking downtown, along Toppenish Avenue with Dan during a school day and he pulled over and told me to get into the car. You knew when my dad was not messing around and I think he was even sober at the time. I could tell he was pretty angry. It is the only time I remember him ever hitting me with a closed fist and I don't think it was even in the face. I don't remember exactly, but I know I cried and then he felt terrible and came and rubbed my back and told me that he loved me. I think that was pretty much it for me and Toppenish High though. 

Read 8245 times Last modified on Monday, 20 July 2015 18:28

followme

1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
Earthquake! Click to read story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Amber- Click to read story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
Women in Oils- Click for story
Where I was born- Click for story.
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
Click to read "Introduction."
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
Grandview- Click for story
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Palouse- Click for story
Me in first grade- Click for story.
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.

Article

01. Introduction

03- Dads Family

03- Photos of my Father and his family

04- My Mother's Family

04- Photos of my Mom

04- Video of my Mom

04- Walling Family Reunions

04-Audio Files of My Mom

04. Billie

04. Ole

04.1. Forbidden Dreams of Love

04.2. Flames of Forbidden Love

04.3 Mom Writing Her Life Story

05- Jim Tarbert

05. Roger

1950's Grandview to Toppenish

1957-1958 1st Grade

1958-1959- Third Grade

1959- Palouse

1961- 4th Grade- Last time I wore a dress

1962- Abilene

1963- Escondido- Early 60's

1964- Darlene Marries Chuck

1964- My Beatle Haircut

1964-The Luv Please

1965 or 1966- Steve Castle

1965- In Foster Care

1966 Living with Darlene & Chuck in Seattle

1967- Juvenile Hall

1976- I Praise Thee (poem to Stanley)

1976- My Second Lover, Stanley Dunne

1976- Paul McCartney and Wings

1976-1330 Bush Street #9J

1977- 1667 Haight Street

1977- Trip to San Diego with Mary Jo

1977-1980- Tumultuous Relationship with John Perry

1978- 525 Haight Street

1979- September- Dad is Murdered

1980's- AIDS- Death and Dying

1980- Winter- First Trip to New York

1980- Word, Sound and Power

1981- Milton- Falling in Love

1982-1993 465 Waller Street

1982-1994 Computers to MacNursing

1984- 33rd Birthday

1985- Graduation from Nursing School

1985- Trip to Hawaii (Oahu)

1988- MIdnight Caller

1989- Earthquake!

1991- Aug 10th- Mom Passes Away

1991- Black Males in Oils

1991- Crack of My Life

1993- Move to Vallejo & Our First Home

1995-1. Road Trip to Washington

1995-2. Surprise Trip to Vegas

1995-3. Grandmother Rogers & Aunts Visit Darlene's

1995-4. Amber

1998- Camping at Russian River

2000 -Thoughts about Progressive Christians

2000- Resignation from John George

2001- April- Trip to Cancun

2001- Peace and Justice

2001- September 11th

2002- April-Puerto Vallarta & Blue Bay Getaway

2002- Nov 12th- My Stepfather, George McHenry Passes Away

2003- Trip to D.C. and N.Y.

2004- Feb- Road Trip to Baha Mexico

2004- Walling Family Reunion in Spokane

2005- Christmas Poem

2005- Darlene Visit for Pride Celebration

2005- Trip to Orlando

2005-1. Europe- London

2005-2. Europe- Paris

2005-3. Europe- Venice

2005-4. Europe- Florence

2005-5. Europe- Rome

2005-6. Europe- Athens

2005-7. Knee Surgery & Tongue Biopsy

2006 Christmas Poem

2006- February 23- Times Herald

2006- Palm Springs White Party

2006- Trip to Seattle

2006-July 8th Solano Peace and Justice Coalition BBQ

2007- Feb- Carnival Destiny- Our First Cruise

2007- Tre and Casey Visit

2008- Aug 15-18 Spokane Visit

2008- Psycho Song

2009- Honored by Vallejo Gay Network

2009- Women in Oils

2010 Christmas Poem

2010- Feb. R.C. Mariner of the Seas Mexican Riviera Cruise

2010- June 24- Badlands

2010- Trip to Seattle

2010-1. Europe- Amsterdam

2010-2. Europe- Paris

2010-3. Europe- Barcelona & Sitges

2010-4. Europe- Madrid

2011-1. Feb. My Fabulous 60th Birthday Weekend

2011-2. April- L.A., Palm Springs & "The White Party"

2011-3. Poem- Girl From Medical Lake

2011-4. Old Man Dancing

2011-5. May- Misty and Alex Visit

2011-6. August- Darlene and Sean's Visit

2011-7. Alex 16-18 & Pics

2012- March- Carnival Splendor Mexican Riviera with Family

2013- Wedding

2014- Christmas Poem

2014- First Gay Cruise

2014- September Road Trip to San Diego

2015- Seasonal Affective Blues

2015- Second Gay Cruise

2015- War on Christmas poem

2015-"Badlands" and Gay Bar Etiquette

2015-September 8. Political History

2016 Do Not Speak for Gay Males

2016- April- Palm Springs RV Adventure

4/4/2016- Not Going Along to Get Along

9/4/15- Liberals vs Conservatives

Second Gay Cruise- Click for story.
Cockettes & Angels of Light- Click for story
Black Men in Oils- Click to read story
1974- On Larkin Street- Click for story.
Summer of Love- Click to read story.
1974- First Trip to Europe- Click to read story.
1967- Summer of Love- Click to read story.
Click to read "Introduction."
2014- Road trip to San Diego- Click for story.
Earthquake! Click to read story.
1973 "You have to be hurt..." Click to read the story.
1973- Psych Tech Program- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click to read story.
My Dad's Family- Click for story.
1982-1993 Waller Street- Click to read story.
Forbidden Dreams of Love- Click for story.
The Psychedelic Experience- Click to read story.
1958-1959- 3rd Grade- Click to read story.
4th Grade- Click for story.
Women in Oils- Click for story
Me in 3rd grade- Click for story.
Gay Disco 70's- Click for story
Where I was born- Click for story.
Photos of Dad & His Family- Click for story.
1970's Promiscuity- Click for story.
My Mother- Click for more photos.
1964- Luv Please- Click for story.
Me in first grade- Click for story.
Escondido 1960's- Click for story
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Beatle haircut- Click for story.
2001 Trip to Cancun- Click to read story.
Darlene Marries Chuck- Click for story.
2015- 2nd Gay Cruise- Click for story.
1957-1958 1st Grade- Click to read story.
Amber- Click to read story.
5th Grade in Abilene Tx- Click for story
Grandview- Click for story
2005- Darlene Visits for Gay Pride- Click to read story.
2005 Darlene Visit for Gay Pride- Click for story.
Palouse- Click for story
Me in my 20's in 1970's- Click for story.